Saturday, June 6, 2009

Magnum's Academy of Awesome

Saturday, June 6, 2009 0
In the world of professional wrestling, one name has become synonymous with the word Awesome. That name, of course, is Magnum!

The Innovator of Awesomeness, the Dean of Decadence, Magnum will, for one night only, teach YOU how to be awesome. A once-thought-impossible task, Magnum oozes with the confidence that he can make you a better person.

Magnum, the Pioneer of Perfection, will consult with you, one on one or in small groups, to spread his teachings, guidance, and of course, his awesomeness. A true Maharashi of Magnificence, this modern-day Engineer of Excellence has generously agreed to help you, the less awesome, cast away the unfortunate traits that make-up a classic loser. Only the Captain of Cool himself, the Connoisseur of Class, Magnum is man enough for such a challenge.

Arrive early to ensure you get one of Magnum’s FREE awesome giveaways – a tool that can turn even the biggest loser into an entity of awesomeness. While supplies last!

Don’t miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Buy your tickets at the door when you arrive early!

ECWA Pro Wrestling
Greater Newark Boys' & Girls' Club
109 Glasgow Drive
Rt. 40 & #1 Positive Place
Newark, DE 19702
Doors Open at: 6:30 p.m.
Show Time: 7:30 p.m.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Magnum Militia is running wild!

Sunday, March 29, 2009 0
With good reason, The Magnum Militia is all the buzz in the world of pro wrestling. The funny thing is, everyone wants to try to figure us out. Don't even bother! But hey, ECWA, speculate all you want. In case you haven't seen it yet, check out ECWA's attempt to get inside the mind of the master manipulator.

Magnum, Pro Wrestler, Still Undefeated

I'm not one to say "I told you so." Oh wait, yes I am! I told you so! Especially you, Jason Leigh. How prophetic were my warnings of 1-2-3! The bell rings, Magnum's and the Magnum Militia's hands are raised, and victory is once again ... ours!!

See you on April 18!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Freak Nastty Interview

Thursday, February 26, 2009 0
Interesting. Very interesting!

The Magnum Militia: A to Z

A is for Awesome!

B is for Best!

C is for Charismatic!

D is for Dynamic!

E is for Excellent!

F is for Fashionable!

G is for Groovy!

H is for Hot!

I is for Innovative!

J is for Jazzy!

K is for Kings!

L is for Luscious!

M is for Magnificent!

N is for Naughty :-)

O is for Oh my God!

P is for Perfect!

Q is for Quality!

R is for Radiant!

S is for Stupendous!

T is for Talented!

U is for Unbelievable!

V is for Victorious!

W is for Wow!

X is for X-rays our opponents have to get!

Y is for Yummy!

Z is for Zeus ... cuz we're gods!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Magnum's Thoughts on the 6-Man Tag Spectacular

Tuesday, February 24, 2009 3

It has just been announced that The Magnum Militia (for those of you who haven't been paying attention: that's me, Frederick of Hollywood, and Andrew Ryker) will take on Aden Chambers, Travis Blake, and Jason Leigh at ECWA's March 7, 2009 show. Of course, you're dying to hear my thoughts on this Six-Man Spectacular. Since I am never short on words, here it is.

First, let me get this out of the way. Once again, ECWA management have proved themselves to be malicious, jealous, and inept by putting MANAGER Magnum in a WRESTLING match. Have they not learned their lesson? Have I not beaten every challenge they put up against me? Am I not UNDEFEATED? Let’s get something straight here. In this world there are people like ECWA fans who haven’t accomplished anything in their lives. Then there is a small handful of people who reach awesome status. Then there is me … I am Magnum Awesome! You have to be truly special to earn the “Magnum” intensifier.

Always remember:

Magnum is the Intensifier of Awesomeness!

Aden Chambers. The new darling of the ECWA since his 2008 Super 8 win. I whole-heartedly acknowledge that Chambers stepped up and won the most prestigious tournament in professional wrestling. But just make sure there’s an asterisk next to his "W" because neither Frederick of Hollywood or Andrew Ryker were in that tournament! And hey, neither was yours truly! Magnum is undefeated in case you forgot. In other words: I do NOT lose! Aden, bring your A game … it’ll be nothing for the A-Listers!

Travis Blake. If I remember correctly, the last few times you crossed paths with the Magnum Militia didn’t work out so great for you! Frederick of Hollywood demonstrated his power with his Hollywood Slam, and Andrew Ryker proved his skill as he pinned your shoulders to the mat. They say “third time’s a charm!” … well, it’ll be just that when the ref counts you out 1-2-3.

Jason Leigh. The last time you were in the ring with Magnum you lasted all of 2 seconds. How glorious you looked, flying over the top rope and crashing to the hard, unforgiving floor. You may be breaking out of your green shell, but you still have lots of work ahead of you if you want to try to climb Militia Mountain. Tell you what … before the match I’ll dial 911 so that the ambulance shows up just in time to carry you out!

So as you can see, dear Militia wannabees ... Magnum is not worried. The Militia is not worried. And you should not be worried since the undefeated streak WILL CONTINUE!!!

Get your tickets now!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Magnum Militia in 6-Man Tag Match

Monday, February 23, 2009 0
Just announced! Your hero Magnum, along with Frederick of Hollywood and Andrew Ryker, will take on 2008 Super 8 winner Aden Chambers, Travis Black, and Jason Leigh. I have LOTS to say about this match ... I will post my most-awesome diatribe later today!
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