Magnum's Thoughts on the 6-Man Tag Spectacular

It has just been announced that The Magnum Militia (for those of you who haven't been paying attention: that's me, Frederick of Hollywood, and Andrew Ryker) will take on Aden Chambers, Travis Blake, and Jason Leigh at ECWA's March 7, 2009 show. Of course, you're dying to hear my thoughts on this Six-Man Spectacular. Since I am never short on words, here it is.

First, let me get this out of the way. Once again, ECWA management have proved themselves to be malicious, jealous, and inept by putting MANAGER Magnum in a WRESTLING match. Have they not learned their lesson? Have I not beaten every challenge they put up against me? Am I not UNDEFEATED? Let’s get something straight here. In this world there are people like ECWA fans who haven’t accomplished anything in their lives. Then there is a small handful of people who reach awesome status. Then there is me … I am Magnum Awesome! You have to be truly special to earn the “Magnum” intensifier.

Always remember:

Magnum is the Intensifier of Awesomeness!

Aden Chambers. The new darling of the ECWA since his 2008 Super 8 win. I whole-heartedly acknowledge that Chambers stepped up and won the most prestigious tournament in professional wrestling. But just make sure there’s an asterisk next to his "W" because neither Frederick of Hollywood or Andrew Ryker were in that tournament! And hey, neither was yours truly! Magnum is undefeated in case you forgot. In other words: I do NOT lose! Aden, bring your A game … it’ll be nothing for the A-Listers!

Travis Blake. If I remember correctly, the last few times you crossed paths with the Magnum Militia didn’t work out so great for you! Frederick of Hollywood demonstrated his power with his Hollywood Slam, and Andrew Ryker proved his skill as he pinned your shoulders to the mat. They say “third time’s a charm!” … well, it’ll be just that when the ref counts you out 1-2-3.

Jason Leigh. The last time you were in the ring with Magnum you lasted all of 2 seconds. How glorious you looked, flying over the top rope and crashing to the hard, unforgiving floor. You may be breaking out of your green shell, but you still have lots of work ahead of you if you want to try to climb Militia Mountain. Tell you what … before the match I’ll dial 911 so that the ambulance shows up just in time to carry you out!

So as you can see, dear Militia wannabees ... Magnum is not worried. The Militia is not worried. And you should not be worried since the undefeated streak WILL CONTINUE!!!

Get your tickets now!

Pre-show Autograph Signing

Don't forget to come out early! If you're lucky enough, we'll let you behind the red ropes. Dare to dream!

Want our autographs?

Of course you do! The Magnum Militia will be signing autographs BEFORE the ECWA show on January 24, 2009. Come by and get one of the following if we let you behind the red ropes. We make no promises.

Bitter-sweet

A week has now passed since ECWA’s November 22 show where the Magnificent One, Magnum, went one on one with Freak Nastty in a steel cage. Also that night The Frederick of Hollywood defended his title against Tommy Trouble. The night started off with a whirlwind victory and reveal, and ended with a shock heard round the squared circle. Since these two events resulted in two drastically different emotions, I shall address each separately below.

Unleashing the Beast

What did I tell you? What did I TELL you! Everyone at ECWA’s November 22, 2008 show got to bear witness to the awesomeness that is Magnum. Lock me in a cage; surround me with Blue Steel; back me into a corner and I will unleash the beast within and attack with unbridled vengeance.

Freak Nastty … you fooled me into signing a match with you in a steel cage. Duped me into thinking I was getting ownership of the ECWA. Well, the joke is on you! I walked into the cage undefeated, and I walked out of the cage undefeated.

Oh, how it all played out. It was the most innovative, the most diabolical, the most awesome plan ever put together in all of professional wrestling. It was 10 months in the making and it was the best kept secret in wrestling. We had all the idiots in the locker room fooled, and we had all the idiot fans fooled. Andrew Ryker has made his way to the A-List … Andrew Ryker is the newest member of the Magnum Militia … Andrew Ryker is the man who attacked Freak Nastty! You want to hate him for it, but you can’t help but love him because he is that good. But save your applause … you don’t deserve to cheer for Andrew Ryker.

The Magnum Militia is truly awesome. With yours truly, The Frederick of Hollywood, and now Andrew Ryker … we can not be stopped. Never before has there been, and never again will there be such an awesome assembly of A-List talent. Accept it. We are stronger than all of you … we are smarter than all of you … and without a shadow of a doubt, we are better looking than all of you.

Ladies and gentlemen … the Magnum Militia reigned supreme in the steel cage, we destroyed the MYTH of Freak Nastty, and we’re looking forward to a bright future … the future’s so bright, we gotta wear shades!

The Frederick of Hollywood Vs. Tommy Trouble

Where do I begin? For once your hero, your role model Magnum is at a loss for words. I am still dejected, still bewildered, and still angry about what went down on November 22, 2008. And believe me, you don’t want to come face to face with an angry Magnum.

Everything was set in place, but somehow it all went terribly wrong. Tommy Trouble is a talented, strong, and formidable force in the ECWA. But he is not an A-Lister. Tommy’s trouble is that he cares what you fans think. He cares about doing the right thing. He needs to take more care in his style and personality. But I digress…

Freak Nastty’s little interference was just one kink in our chain. And Freak, you better watch that back of yours that keeps getting attacked because you messed with the wrong group. But something else went wrong that night. Someone messed with destiny. Someone’s un-divine intervention led to the rarest of rare mistakes by a member of the Magnum Militia.

But know this … no one, NO ONE outsmarts Magnum. Vengeance will be ours, and we will have that belt back soon enough.