It has just been announced that The Magnum Militia (for those of you who haven't been paying attention: that's me, Frederick of Hollywood, and Andrew Ryker) will take on Aden Chambers, Travis Blake, and Jason Leigh at ECWA's March 7, 2009 show. Of course, you're dying to hear my thoughts on this Six-Man Spectacular. Since I am never short on words, here it is.
First, let me get this out of the way. Once again, ECWA management have proved themselves to be malicious, jealous, and inept by putting MANAGER Magnum in a WRESTLING match. Have they not learned their lesson? Have I not beaten every challenge they put up against me? Am I not UNDEFEATED? Let’s get something straight here. In this world there are people like ECWA fans who haven’t accomplished anything in their lives. Then there is a small handful of people who reach awesome status. Then there is me … I am Magnum Awesome! You have to be truly special to earn the “Magnum” intensifier.
Always remember:
Magnum is the Intensifier of Awesomeness!
Aden Chambers. The new darling of the ECWA since his 2008 Super 8 win. I whole-heartedly acknowledge that Chambers stepped up and won the most prestigious tournament in professional wrestling. But just make sure there’s an asterisk next to his "W" because neither Frederick of Hollywood or Andrew Ryker were in that tournament! And hey, neither was yours truly! Magnum is undefeated in case you forgot. In other words: I do NOT lose! Aden, bring your A game … it’ll be nothing for the A-Listers!
Travis Blake. If I remember correctly, the last few times you crossed paths with the Magnum Militia didn’t work out so great for you! Frederick of Hollywood demonstrated his power with his Hollywood Slam, and Andrew Ryker proved his skill as he pinned your shoulders to the mat. They say “third time’s a charm!” … well, it’ll be just that when the ref counts you out 1-2-3.
Jason Leigh. The last time you were in the ring with Magnum you lasted all of 2 seconds. How glorious you looked, flying over the top rope and crashing to the hard, unforgiving floor. You may be breaking out of your green shell, but you still have lots of work ahead of you if you want to try to climb Militia Mountain. Tell you what … before the match I’ll dial 911 so that the ambulance shows up just in time to carry you out!
So as you can see, dear Militia wannabees ... Magnum is not worried. The Militia is not worried. And you should not be worried since the undefeated streak WILL CONTINUE!!!
